THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
