yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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