Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize