What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
it glows. i had to have it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
