you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize