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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  or abortion recommendation cards.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this

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• (206): View more from Washington

  He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I just found it. I hope it leads to food.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.

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• (951): View more from California

  Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.

  (1-951): View more from California

  I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.

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• (707): View more from California

  Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face

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