i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
