I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
