Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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