i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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