I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
