Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
