Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
