My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
