Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
