Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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