Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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