I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
