I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm like, not good at living.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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