maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
