your parents love me but you hate me
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
