Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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