I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
