if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize