i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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