What a fucking waste of an outfit
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
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