if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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