Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
