I feel like abortions should bother me more
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
