Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
