So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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