tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the condom got lost in my hair
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
