Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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