I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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