i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
