I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
