I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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