He passed out mid-signature
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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