After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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