Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude i'm inner monologue high
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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