Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
