Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
