My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
