I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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