I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
