Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
