Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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