his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
