I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
