It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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