hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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