Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
