we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
