and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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