wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
false alarm. still invincible.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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