Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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