dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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