so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
