its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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