love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
