What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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