What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
