Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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