your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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