whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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